When you try to talk to your partner do they always seem defensive, angry, or withdrawn? Does it seem the more you talk the further your partner pulls away? Do conflicts seem to escalate to yelling or one of you shutting down completely?
How to communicate effectively in a way your partner can hear is rarely a skill we learn on our own. I can work with you to identify your fears and behaviors that keep you from getting what you really want in your relationship. I also help those unsure if they are in an addictive or abusive relationship to identity what’s “really going on”, find their voice, and discover new choices and ways of thinking about their situation.
If you find yourself wondering why love isn’t enough, or why you feel so alone within your relationship, you are not alone. High conflict, infidelity, addictions, sex/intimacy issues and parenting conflicts challenge the strongest of partnerships during the course of a relationship. I approach couples by working to get to the source of problems, not just communication skills. I utilize the Gottman Method of couples counseling which is evidenced based, simple in approach, practical, and effective. I typically meet with you and your partner together, then each individually and after having you complete some online questionnaires, we meet again together to go over a “relationship blueprint” for making the changes you desire. When we can understand the fears behind the “attack, blame, withdraw” cycle so many of us find ourselves in, relationships can be transformed and old wounds can be healed. There is always hope for growth in a relationship when we explore our own feelings, needs, and behaviors and learn concrete tools for managing and communicating them. I’m honored to work with many couples who have reestablished their bond, improved their sex lives, and feel more connected and joyful in their partnership.